In fact, I still have every journal I've written in since I was eight. Reading through them, I have come across all the boys I used to like, all the video games scores I was so proud of, and as I became a mother, pages and pages of all the parenting struggles and joys I went through with my five beautiful kids. I've also found within my journals and life experiences a few things I thought I would share.
To this day, I haven't shared much of my personal life online, mostly just the fun stuff that we are all comfortable with. Yet, there is something that has been nagging at me, something telling me I need to do more. My life has been fabulous, but just like everyone else, through every stage in my life there have been those days of spectacular wonder mixed with those days that I just wanted to disappear.
And I believe, like I said at the beginning of this post, that there is healing in writing. I want to heal and help others to heal as well. I think that I have lived enough of life that I can write down a thing or two that may help another. I leave it to you to take it and gain something, or to leave it.
Hopefully it can be the first. Perhaps in my words, there will be things that help you to understand you are not alone, or to help you feel hope again, or to just realize that life can be funny and joyful even when things don't go as planned. And if you have something to add for me from your experiences, I'd love to hear from you too.
But if it is not the first, please be kind. To me, and to anyone in my stories.
And here is my disclaimer: I can't write about myself, without writing about those that have touched my life,..for good or bad. And this is actually the reason I have not written anything online. I firmly believe that people can and do change. All the time. We learn and we grow. So what happened in the past, may not be something that would happen ever again. Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone falls short of the glory of God. Everyone. The attitudes and actions in my stories and posts are from the past. From my memories. From the things I need to get off my chest, or from the things I want to understand better. The stories may represent what is in my mind and heart, but the other people in them may be living completely different lives now; and while I may still feel pain, and am trying to work through some things, they have perhaps gone through what I know as the repentance process, and have completely changed. I hope that this thought is respected and remembered if you take the time to read further.
Not all is doom and gloom though. I want to share happiness, I want to share joy. I want you to know that no matter how rough life is right now, it is better than the alternative! There is a purpose to all things. And that is why I've chosen the first of my stories to share with you tonight...
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